Teenager’s Parental Issues


Marianne Paquet

“There remains a deep connection between parents and children no matter how tense it may seem, and this is what will save your teen in the long run­­­.”              

Adolescence is a difficult time for teenagers, and they need support from friends, but mainly from their family and their parents. Strong relations and trust are important for them to feel comfortable. If not, it can lead to addictions such as drugs, where teenagers can sometimes find comfort or simply forget their problems.

Teens want independence and freedom, even if that means getting away from their parents. They must experiment and discover the world by themselves, learning to live without parental supervision. By the time teenagers reach the age where independence is essential for them, parents feel distant from them, only being used for money or food.

“The process of gaining independence is a healthy part of development because teens are becoming their own person and developing skills that will make them an independent person outside of the family,” adds Danielle Selvin Harris,being  a psychologist who  specializes in working with teens.

They want to prove their point, and they can sometimes feel that their parents don’t trust them, so arguing comes and then fights, again and again, and again. Sentences like “you won’t understand” or ” I don’t want to talk about it” are often heard by parents.

As hard as it can be for parents to see their child go from an innocent little child to a teen that wants nothing to do with them, it is part of the “growing up” process.  The teenager’s point of view needs to be heard, but the most important thing is trust. Being trusted as a teenager is essential for confidence between the parents and their teen.

According to Dr. Jessica Naecker, asking for perfection in everything, grades, behaviour, sports, etc, can be really stressful for teenagers, and parents need to see the efforts. For example, the teen is asked to do a chore but meanwhile needs to study for a test. Even if the chore isn’t perfectly done, and the grade might not be a 100%, efforts need to be seen in both actions. School can provide a lot of pressure in their life, homework, grades, sometimes bullies, or even relationships.

As a parent, they could understand their teenager’s needs, show interest in their passions, and talk slowly and calmly while arguing, but mostly see the efforts and all the difficulties of their life. As easy as it can seem, the life of a teen is full of ups and downs. Talk to them, understand their needs and show solutions and agreements.

The same thing for teenagers, they need to show efforts to help their relationship with their parents. For example, they could try to stay calm during arguments,  explain themselves, and how they feel, say what they think, and try to establish a good relationship between both. A good relation is based on solid bases, and efforts need to be shown on both sides.